![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I have lived in a lot of places over the last few years. Maybe it's because I enjoy change or keep finding better deals and prices. Maybe it's because I'm too picky. But I think the real reason is because I have yet to find a place that feels like home.
Growing up, I lived in the perfect neighborhood. I joke about it a lot, but my neighborhood was incredible. Children played outside and doors were left unlocked without worry. Neighbors became your friends and life was simple. It was joyful. I've never felt that same sense of community in my adult life and sometimes I doubt I ever will.
When I step foot into my parents' house, I feel at home. There is something safe and welcoming about their tidy and modest house. Even with the changes they've made to it over the years, it still feels safer to me than any other place ever could. I was there when that house was built in 1985 and rarely does a week go by in which I don't pop over for a visit. I can walk through the yard without my shoes on and feel the grass on my feet. I can go to the kitchen and know exactly where my favorite glass is. The sofa is new, but the feeling I have when I snuggle down is the same.
Am I going to find that same sense of peace in my own place? Is it because I rent these homes that I feel so transitional? I long to put down roots, but I cannot make myself stay in any one place for more than a year. It makes me itch and I want to try something new. I want to find that feeling of home I so desperately crave.
I want to go home.
Growing up, I lived in the perfect neighborhood. I joke about it a lot, but my neighborhood was incredible. Children played outside and doors were left unlocked without worry. Neighbors became your friends and life was simple. It was joyful. I've never felt that same sense of community in my adult life and sometimes I doubt I ever will.
When I step foot into my parents' house, I feel at home. There is something safe and welcoming about their tidy and modest house. Even with the changes they've made to it over the years, it still feels safer to me than any other place ever could. I was there when that house was built in 1985 and rarely does a week go by in which I don't pop over for a visit. I can walk through the yard without my shoes on and feel the grass on my feet. I can go to the kitchen and know exactly where my favorite glass is. The sofa is new, but the feeling I have when I snuggle down is the same.
Am I going to find that same sense of peace in my own place? Is it because I rent these homes that I feel so transitional? I long to put down roots, but I cannot make myself stay in any one place for more than a year. It makes me itch and I want to try something new. I want to find that feeling of home I so desperately crave.
